I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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