Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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