dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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