Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
