But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
