i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
