When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize