she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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