Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
