She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
