You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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