Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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