just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
