haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
