My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Congratulations! We have a period
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