last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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