i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
