can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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