I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
