omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
