Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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