I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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