I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
