i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize