kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
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By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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