last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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