you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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