Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
