I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
