And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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