I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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