yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize