They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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