I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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