Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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