btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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