so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
bring money and cleavage
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
