dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
