I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
