Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
