i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
