and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
