u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
