I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
