just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
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I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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