i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
