i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
