If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
