Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
