It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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