I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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