I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
