My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
there is puke in my bra ... again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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