At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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