The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
