I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
