Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Congratulations! We have a period
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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