Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize