Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
