Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
