More tranny stories later!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
