don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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