let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
