So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
