Don't make out with my wife yet
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
