ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
