just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my phone needs a breathalizer
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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