Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
