i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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